You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Randomize
