I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
