I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
