we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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