Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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