he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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