he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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