she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
