Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
My brain says no but my pants say off.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
