I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
