if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
