My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
