It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
