i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
