As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
