booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The air taste purple.
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