Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
