We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
