You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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