I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I just blew my weed a kiss
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Holy sore nipples Batman
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
