I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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