Pappa wants mamma naked
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
