You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
