So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
