yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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