drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
