When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
