Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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