We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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