i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
