Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
