NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize