i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
