my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
