He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
