Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
