Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
now i know why i became what i already was.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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