if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
