dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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