im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
