I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
