Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
