So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
