So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
