When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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