Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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