i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
