I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
