Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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