She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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