it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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