Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
