too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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