Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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