The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
