If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
