at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize