you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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