you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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