You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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