i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
