How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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